btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
