dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
