:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
