I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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