Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
