I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
