I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
