It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize