STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
