i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
