That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The chlamydia really affected his face.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize