i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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