Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
