it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
