This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
