I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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