worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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