I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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