I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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