You work out of a Hotel?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
