kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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