Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
