Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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