The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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