You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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