I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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