walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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