So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
