You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
