this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
