did you get engaged???
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
