Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
