I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize