Yo dont text me then not text me
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
