Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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