thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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