Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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