forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
