I am in a vortex of obligation.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
