I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
