can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
