Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
