Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Less talking, more tequila
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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