I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm having to shit out rocks
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
