oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
