If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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