lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
