Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
