I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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