I must be too annoying 4 u.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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