What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Semen is not good for contacts.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize