This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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