I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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