just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Come on in and take your pants off
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