it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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