Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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