so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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