I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize