Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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